Why Are You Still Single?

I watched a show last night called "Tough Love". On the show, a male matchmaker tries to teach a group of single women what they are doing wrong and what needs to change in order for them to meet their match. His lessons are based on the male perspective and sometimes pretty interesting.

One of the issues last night involved a breakdown with a 39 year old woman who seemed confident, nice looking, professionally successful and intelligent. The breakdown happened after her match began drilling her about how it was that she was such a catch and single. Not only single, but had never been married.

I could feel the woman's anger about the man who she had let her guard down with and opened up to the possibility of trying to begin a relationship with all of a sudden not letting up about why she was single. I've heard the question over and over and it gets on my nerves. I'm 41, single, no kids, and never have been married. In all honesty, I've never had a serious true blue boyfriend.

Why? Because even as a teen, I've never felt as if it was something I just had to do in order to say that I had somebody. I've always had great friends and an active life, so I wasn't desperate for people to be with. I paid attention to the unhealthy relationships around me & saw no need to duplicate them. I actually like myself and enjoy my own company, so I don't need someone around just to entertain me. I've never been a "halfway" personality or dealt that well with grey areas either, so I figured that if I was going to make that comittment, I'd go all the way and saw no need to go there with anyone willing.

Most of all, just like the men who ask the question, I believe that I am a GREAT catch and so why should I settle for less than a man who would be of the utmost compliment to myself. I need a man who would be able to inspire even more greatness from me. A true helpmate. I see long term more than I see the moment when I think of relationships so why go there with anyone other than a man I'd want to spend a lifetime beside?

Okay, back to "Tough Love". The matchmaker, his mother, and one of the other girls in the group strongly felt as if this guy just couldn't believe that he was having the opportunity to be with a woman so great. Things seemed so good (and he's been hurt before) that there just had to be something wrong with her. He was messing up a good thing because he just couldn't believe that he had found it.

I could see it and I could understand. Does this mean that I should just be flattered when I hear that question over & over again? I'd like to be but unfortunately, I keep dreaming of that guy who will think that I'm such a great catch that he's going to do whatever it takes not to lose me. A man confident and secure enough to think that I'm the one he's always deserved.